Time and Memory

So many different things can affect the way that you remember. There’s trauma, stress, illness, age, and other things. I started noticing issues with my memory when I was with the monster that murdered my cats and he was very harsh with me when I had lapses with my memory one of the many ways I was put down in the relationship. After the double trauma of Luna and Dexter and past trauma that I hadn’t fully dealt with the stress and trauma made it very difficult to remember many things. I don’t feel that I have memory issues and I do try to do things to help keep my brain active like puzzles, reading, and art. That’s part of the reason I decided to take up learning Spanish as well. I feel that I do push myself a lot and I always have. I suppose that comes from being an only child and many of the things that happened that shaped me into who I am today. I’m not saying those are the only things that made me who I am but they definitely impacted my life greatly. Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck and sometimes I feel like I am or have improved the way I deal with stress thanks to Mindfulness, DBT, therapy, groups, books, and writing and I’m sure I’m skipping a few things but other times I wish that I felt like I did before the shit. Some days are easier and some are not. Complex post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and depression are what I have and I think my new therapist is hinting that I might have some kind of dissociative disorder but I’m not sure. I know I’ve used dissociation many times throughout my life to cope with situations.