I moved from my hometown and state just shy of a year ago. Several things made my life flip upside down and fucked up. In the past year I’ve been trying my best to get back to a point where I don’t feel so fucked up. I’ve related what I’ve been doing here DBT, therapy, writing and reading. This is an awful upheaval of trauma and grief that is mixed up with past trauma which has resulted in my PTSD.
My new issue is nightmares, not sleeping and disrupting Joe’s sleep unless he sleeps alone which brings back memories and terror and being alone. So I moved out of his room and not in my bed and trying to figure out how the fuck I am going to sleep. When I wake alone it terrifies me, especially when I have nightmares. But I’m not sleeping well on couch or in my bed that I obsess about being alone in. Idk. Just fucking tired and stressed.
Dexter would’ve been 5 on St. Patrick’s Day. I miss him and my sweet girl Luna. I miss snuggles and not being in bed alone.