Dear Nancy,

There are so many things I wished I had shared with you that I didn’t get time to but at least I was able to share as much as I could and did with the time that we had. I wish you were still here but I know that you’re now in a better place surrounded by people who loved and love us. And you are now one of those that loved us. You loved us so much and you always always showed us every time you gave us any of your time. I’ll never forget the random and often texts, the occasional calls where we learned more, you helping me when I needed you to the most but didn’t ask for it.

Thank you for all of it. Thank you for being my biggest cheerleader. We all need a good cheerleader and you were always the greatest one I ever had, you read my stories and you understood me and didn’t judge me and I love you so much for that and more. I miss you so much and I wish we had more time and I know there’s time in the future but I’m just having a really hard time these days. I need a cheerleader and no I’m not trying to replace you but I need someone on my side cheering for me, reading my things, understanding me like no one else. Really seeing me and not seeing what I see which is a broken girl with many traumas and a broken life that I’ve stitched badly together so that people will stop thinking I need to move one and be one of the normal people that just complain about work or other mundane things.

I really do wish we had had more time together, to go have sushi and wander Jungle Jim’s and have some wine and I could show you more of my art and I could see yours which I never did get to. I know you would’ve and wanted to show me but never got the chance to. I’m not mad, I’m just sad you’re not here but again I know you’re no longer hurting and no longer worrying about being any kind of burden which I’m positive you weren’t because you were and are the strongest person I’ve ever met. You were such a good fighter and that’s why I’m having such a hard time since you are no longer with us. I miss you every day and I love you to the moon and stars and beyond and back. I know we will see each other again but I’ll miss you until then. Shine on, silver girl.

Love Always, Erica

2 thoughts on “Dear Nancy,

  1. Dear Erica, while I didn’t know Nancy and don’t know you, I know you both quite well from your words. Nancy was a fountain of unconditional love and acceptance. This is not uncommon in one who might be called an Empath. As for yourself, you are much braver and stronger than you are ready to believe. Being “badly stitched together” is good. Many don’t bother. They just blame others or wait for someone else to pick up the pieces. You tried and will continue to do so, as Nancy lived. Empaths are not common but out there. I believe as long as you keep your heart open, one will find its way into your life. It isn’t a replacement for Nancy, but I’ve no doubt that it is what she would have wanted. Life is a series of uncharted courses and the only one you need to be like, is yourself. You are unique and Nancy knew that. She was holding it up for you to embrace (the job of a good cheerleader). One of Nancy’s greatest works of art was in helping you to find and embrace your own strength and courage.
    Remember, those wounds you stitched together are evidence of your wounds, your strength to pick yourself up, and your courage to go on.

    With love, Léa

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