Conclusion of Court

Last week Thursday Joe and I traveled to Rhinelander from Cincinnati and on the way to Wisconsin I received a phone call from the District Attorney’s office notifying me that they reached a plea agreement and we were already in Illinois at the time so I informed the coordinator of the time that we would be arriving in town. I made sure that I contacted a few people that I needed to in order to get the documents that I wanted to include in the court case. Joe and I went to Bucketheads to get something to eat before heading over by Paula so I could see the kids and steal Paula away to work on the victim impact statement. My Dad and Sue invited Joe, Paula and I to have a drink which was nice. Got to work on the statement and talk with them about what was going to happen the next day which is now a week ago. I still wasn’t quite clear on everything that was going to take place on Friday but knew that I had to meet the ADA at 8:30am.

Dexter

The hotel that we stayed at (Days Inn or the old Claridge) has a bar and that’s where I met my aunt Lisa for the first time. It wasn’t the greatest meeting but I had more alcohol than food that day and I was quite stressed with the events that would take place the next day. I’m not sure what to think of Lisa. She seems less interested in getting to know the family. This is quite different from meeting Julie this past year. Perhaps things might change in the future with Lisa and Maggie and Sarah. I don’t think I was ready or thinking about meeting her when I came into town. I’m in touch with Sarah from time to time and I can see that relationship continuing. I’m unsure what the future holds for the additional DNA discoveries to the family.

On Friday Joe and I got up and got ready and made sure that we went down for breakfast before we headed out to get Paula. When we arrived at the district attorney’s office Jillian wanted to see me alone and I had wished that Paula was in the room with us so that things wouldn’t have had to be repeated and Paula and Joe already knew everything about the case and were heavily involved. Jillian asked me about the files that I wanted to be included in the case first asking if I wanted them sealed and I said no that I wanted them public. I want and they are pubic for good reason. I don’t have anything to hide. I’ve explained on here and been very open about the affects of what Mr. Holt did to me and did to the cats. Yes for trial sake he never admitted to any involvement in Luna’s death but even the Sheriff stated that he likely was involved in her death. At this point now that the trial is done I do have a sense of relief. I don’t have to worry about when the next time I have to deal with Mr. Holt or the court system.

The court system is flawed and anyone that has dealt with, worked with or been part of it would likely state the same. It takes forever for anything to get done. It’s never like you see it in the movies. For me being the victim of this has been a harsh experience and overlooked and often feeling like I was not being heard and the system had an idea of how and what was going to be said and done and didn’t really take much time to explain many things. This is why I have agreed to be part of Marsy’s Law of Wisconsin for victim rights. You’ll learn more about what that entails as we continue. I’m also going to work or plan on working with Misty’s Law, I want harsher punishment for animal abusers and be an advocate for animal rights. I also plan on looking into domestic violence laws and rights to victims and working as an advocate for survivors. As it stands I am a domestic violence survivor and sexual assault survivor and because of the way that I was given my abuse from Mr. Holt it goes unrecognized, overlooked and ignored in the eyes of the law and with many people. I don’t know how to change any of that but I at least want to shed some light on it with how I became a survivor.

Luna

It sounds like a lot of things I plan but I feel passionately about these things. It gives me a purpose and I feel it could give future survivors a better voice and hope. We all need hope.

So what was the conclusion? Highly flawed. Mr. Holt plead no contest which translated to guilty in the eyes of the law of the Felony i charge of Mistreatment of Animals. While I had hope after I did my victim impact statement and Judge O’Melia stated to Holt that he could get the maximum sentencing however it was ruled he would spent 3 days of 5 days in jail since he already had the initial 2 on file. In addition to that he has 2 years of probation which includes a psychological evaluation. I was happy that was included since Holt has been so anti therapy and forced me to stop therapy. If he breaks his probation in any way he gets to spend 9 months minus 5 days in jail.

I learned that he definitely has his adult children living with him now which I found amusing considering they had been in the care of his Mother until this shit came out. Then of course he had to cover up the fact that he was using his children’s ssi and the tax benefits he got for his own use. That won’t of course go to court but at least someone had tried (not me) to turn him in for using their money. I suspect that his Mother is also living with them at the house cause he’s not a parent.

He’s a dictator and I suspect he’s only going to get worse from here on out. I say dictator because he does abuse and intimidate and control and now the court and town does know that he’s a bit disturbed from strangling and beating an innocent 11 lb cat to death and hiding it under my bed for me to find and of course lying about it while I continued living with him for 18 more days until the shit hit the fan.

When you live with an abuser like him as I did you do get to know their habits cause you want to do everything in your power to avoid the conflict and confrontations and mania you experience. You live in fear and I’m sure his family might too now. I’m just glad I’m finally safe and far from his reach and can adjust as a survivor, mourn and flourish and be rebuilt as the phoenix I am. I still have anxiety issues to work out from the trauma and PTSD but I will figure it out in time.

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