I have no idea when that is going to happen. On Feb 26th we have the pretrial conference, we just had the preliminary hearing of which he plead not guilty and I know it’s an attempt to get a lesser sentencing than felony i. I hope this doesn’t drag out for years and it could.
This whole thing to me feels worse than me getting sexually assaulted. And that’s part of my past and maybe it’s because it’s so fresh…even though I found Dexter four months ago and Luna died in my arms six months ago. The pain is exquisite and often indescribable.
It’s difficult processing this whole thing. There are times when I do feel alien. Maybe it was the twenty days after that I was still with the asshole and he was making me feel like shit for my grief and trying to make it go away but little did I know it was him …. he did this and hindsight is 20/20. I shiver when I think of all the nights he could’ve came into my room and finished me off. I still believe if I was there after I found Dexter I would’ve died within days and in the end that last weekend before Halloween would’ve been the other time when I most certainly would have been murdered brutally by him. I fucking feel that with all my being. I can’t magically make that stop because there’s a restraining order.
The man is a psychopath and murdered, cleaned and hid Dexter under my bed to find and then didn’t say shit about being attacked or anything about his death until I gave my suspicions to the Sheriff Department and he confessed to strangling Dexter with one hand and beating my poor defenseless baby 10 to 20 times and dropping him on the floor after he went limp. Then of course he skipped the details as to how he cleaned and glued my babies eyes shut before curling up his body and positioning him under my bed. He has no soul, no remorse, no fucking feelings, I feel it all. And I hate him for it.