Sunday not funday

I thought I’d write a little before trying to get to sleep. Today I have been preparing for an upper gi/colonoscopy which will be happening in the morning. I’ve been preparing all week for it by doing little things to make this easier. So if my Dad ever reads my blog maybe he will see I do take and use his advice.

Speaking of my Dad he’s taking me to my appointment tomorrow and I’ve been here most of the day not having that much fun. The prep definitely sucks. But I felt he was right which is why I followed what he suggested.

Dexter and me back when I lived in Corpus Christi, Texas

Also told him I want to be cremated and I’m an organ donor and how to get into my phone. Yes I’m nervous and no I don’t think I’ll die but it’s a possibility which is why I got upset with Joe. I am not feeling well and just wanted to be taken care of and yes I did something I shouldn’t have and did apologize but didn’t feel it made it better. And I hate that. I hate that if something did happen that’s the last thing to remember. Yes I screwed up and I’ll do it again. We have to leave things in loving notes rather than one person worrying. And I am worried. That’s why I’ve been upset all weekend. And nervous and now just not feeling well and hoping to get some sleep.

Joe and me at Cross Country Bar Dec 2018

So again at least here you’ll know I am sorry and wish things would’ve been left on better note. I love you.

As for the other readers yes this makes me anxious. So does the trial and the other shit. So we’ll see what happens or we won’t.