Luna and Dexter

I wrote this on a grief support group for pets. Has story of both Luna and Dexter.


Luna died in my arms at the end of July 2018. I heard a sound in the kitchen and ran in to see what was going on and seen her struggling to breathe. I called my best friend who have me a number to a local vet but when I called, since it was after hours and I never established with that vet they tried giving me an alternative emergency hospital to call. The man I was dating at the time kept telling me how I shouldn’t bring her in and he wasn’t going to pay for it. My best friend showed up and a couple minutes later my sweet Luna died in my arms. My dad and step Mom came over and my friend and I went downstairs with my girl who I had wrapped in her blanket she had since she was a kitten. I feel guilty for not going to the vet to find out exactly what happened to my 5-year-old calico. My Dad, Paula, Anie & Alex and I buried my Luna in my Dad’s backyard next to Buddy, the family golden retriever. Paula surprised me by bringing 5 monarch butterflies to release for every year of Luna’s life.

Dexter & me

Ended up moving with that man into a house even though he hadn’t helped me with any of my grief. I mainly cried myself to sleep for days holding Dexter and missing my girl. There were a series of things that occurred with Dexter in the new house with my now ex.

On September 14th, he picked me up from work and complained he had to clean up after Dexter and put him in the cat nook. I came home to find that Dexter had blood on his nose and was sneezing blood. I brought him to my room which was not shared with my boyfriend at anytime and comforted him and cleaned him up.

On September 17th, I went for my allergy shots with Paula and received a text about how my “shit ball cat clawed him, and he put him in the nook “. After he left for work Paula and I went to the nook to find Dexter covered in urine with one eye almost swollen shut, I tried cleaning him up a bit then we brought him to Dr. French to have him checked. She checked him and ran a blood test and helped clean embedded bloody carpeting out of his split nails.  She said he was severely stressed but seemed fine and gave me an antibiotic to treat for possible infection. She told me to keep him calm and comfortable so I went home and brought his litter box, food and water into my room and told Randy that the Vet said he’s severely stressed was put on antibiotics and to leave Dexter alone. I administered Dexter’s antibiotics every day, cleaned up his fur, comforted him and he seemed to get better as days went on. Looking back he shook and seemed skittish only when Randy was around and he would try hiding.

I worked another Friday and Randy got me from work but didn’t mention anything about Dexter until I tried going to my room and he said he made a mess which Dexter never did when I was there. I went and cleaned up his mess and gave him a bath and brought him back to my room to comfort him.

On Monday October 8th, I went for my allergy shots and was called to go to work  but before I left, I made sure Dexter was comfortable,  that he had water, food and that his litter box was clean. Randy brought me my laptop to work about noon so I could work on school before he went to work. As I think about the time now I think that when Randy showed up to drop off my laptop he had already murdered Dexter. 

After I got done with work, my dad brought me home around 6:30pm I went to my room sing songing his name as I always did and when he didn’t come out to greet me I looked under the bed and seen him there. When I moved my hope chest, he didn’t move so I went to touch him, finding that he was cold and stiff. I grabbed his blanket, picked him up and brought him into the kitchen where I held him. I called Paula who called my Dad to come back to the house and when my Dad got there I let him in while holding Dexter and crying. My dad wanted to examine him to see if he could feel broken bones or anything but said he could not. So, we put Dexter in the truck and I gathered clothes cause my Dad told me to stay with him since Randy was at work and it was too much for me.  I changed my shirt because I started smelling death and went to my father’s for awhile where he put Dexter into a tote in the garage. I ended up staying at Paula’s for a few days and contacted my vet to ask about a possible autopsy however we ended up burying Dexter on Wednesday next to Luna.

I did go back to where I was living on Friday night. My Dr. increased my anxiety medication Tuesday and added Xanax for panic attacks and gave me something to help me sleep. As time passed Randy made no mention of any attack, acted surprised when I told him Dexter was dead and it wasn’t until the weekend of the 28th, 20 days later that I learned the truth. I was having stomach issues and figured that I was getting an ulcer so I had Paula bring me to the walk in to get checked after my allergy shots and 5 hours later they prescribed omeprazole, told me I was severely stressed, to try to relax and remain calm. So Paula and I decided I should stay with her for the weekend since Sean was going out of town for the weekend and she could use the help with Alex and Anie. When we went to get things from the house Randy told me that if I left, I better take everything because he was going to change the locks and get a gun and kill himself. Randy and I  argued for about an hour and then his Jekyll/Hyde came out  and said “that it was fine that I stay with Paula for the weekend” and so we left thinking everything was going to be fine.

On Saturday we planned to check out kittens at the animal shelter before downtown trick or treating but Randy decided not to do it and told me to do it with my family and he had wanted to do it alone with me. When he had mentioned the night before that he would go with Paula and I trick or treating he failed to show up or contact me until the evening when he messaged me to go out for a drink which I told him I wasn’t feeling well and was going to stay in because Paula and I were tired after taking the kids trick or treating.

On Sunday, I talked to my Dad about what happened Friday evening at the house and he suggested I contact the police because he threatened to get a gun and kill himself and my Dad said “what if he killed someone else”. 

I called the Sheriff’s department and told them what happened Friday and about my thoughts on what happened with Dexter and Luna.  The Sheriff’s department went to check on his welfare and question him about the cats of which Randy lied twice and then finally admitted to murdering Dexter. In Randy’s statement to the sheriff he said that ‘he went into Erica’s room to give Dexter food, water and clean litter-box. The cat was on a shelf in the closet and like scratched his thumb. He grabbed the cat, choked him and with a closed fist punched Dexter like 10 to 20 times. Then dropping him on the floor seeing that he was dead, paced around the room and then chose to push him under Erica’s bed and wait until she got home to find Dexter dead.”

He was arrested on a felony charge and since then was granted a restraining order for domestic violence for the max of 4 years and there’s a no contact order on his bond stipulation. On Monday Dec 3rd during the court hearing, they set up to have a preliminary hearing on January 18th.

I’ve been through some serious hell in the last couple months. The doctors have changed my anxiety meds and upped me from xanax to clonazepam. For the last 10 years I was only on a mild anxiety medicine to control my ptsd and panic attacks. Having Dexter and Luna aside from being my babies were very much therapeutic to me. I didn’t need xanax or clonazepam because they comforted me everyday and night. My friends and family are supportive and I’m in therapy and trying every day. I am in a safe place with my things but I don’t always feel safe and it’s a struggle everyday. Thanks for reading.