What I hate

I have been trying to adjust to what life I have left. What life I screwed up in multiple ways along the way. What life I made seriously bag choices with. What life I’ve been left with since this that and everything else.

I hate being scared. I hate what I allowed someone to do to me. I hate what I allowed into my life. I hate that I didn’t listen to my instincts. I hate that I opened myself up. I hate what was done to me. I hate being controlled. I hate having put up with it. I hate that I was a coward and still am too a certain extent. I hate starting over. I hate living in fear. I hate what I’m going through. I hate him so much. I hate what he did to my babies. I hate not having my babies. I hate hating. I hate not knowing what to do. I hate not knowing how the fuck to handle this. I hate feeling alone. I hate having to be on medication to feel any kind of normalcy. I hate daily panic attacks. I hate pain. I hate crying. I hate what he left me like. I hate the day I met him. I hate that he’s likely to get off. I hate he has no remorse. I hate that he lied. I hate all of this bullshit. I hate going through it. I hate being tired. I hate not feeling normal.