This happens in everyone’s life, at least once, usually many times in my experience since I seem to pick guys that are just not quite into me. And I get hurt but I also understand I’m not the easiest person to get to know. But then you meet someone that you think will try and get past the bullshit to get to the good stuff. That’s not an easy feat when you’re an intimidating or strong woman such as myself. I think too much and I’m outspoken and often brutally honest and it can be off-putting for men I think. What am I to say really? I guess I have to give it up for at least trying and being perhaps too available and getting caught up in the I’ll chase you act… I do want to be went after too. Chased, desired and I want someone to see me with my flaws, all of them and not be intimidated and just love me. I believe we all deserve to be loved by someone. Perhaps it is my binge watching of Sex and the City and always thinking I’m kinda like Carrie…and I just haven’t really found that person that I should be with. I’ve felt recently like I’ve been sorta seeing Mr. Big in that he does seem emotionally unavailable and also afraid to at least agree that it’s a relationship. So I’ve struggled with this now for awhile and I keep thinking I need to distance myself from the situation because I have feelings and those feelings recently slipped out and now it’s unrequited. So whomever is reading my little blog let me tell you that it’s not a fun position to be in and a woman has needs and we need to figure out when to move on from it. But I really am having a hard time letting go.
**May 6, 2016 Finished watching all of the seasons of Sex and the City and I’ll leave you with this. One of the things that Carrie told Alexander in one of the final episodes. This is something I want for myself which is why it’s one of my favorite quotes.
“I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, Can’t-live-without-each-other love.” Carrie Bradshaw – Sex and the City”