It’s the day before my 43rd birthday and I feel I have many things I need to decide on to change how my life. I’m already going through changes as I mentioned last week and with those things has made me at times overwhelmed with emotion and not knowing what to do with it. Hate feeling emo which just irritates me so I generally outwardly show either nothing, anger or indifference. Sometimes that is easier. Feeling other things just seems to get in the way and I’m not a fan of dealing with many of the emotions I have alone and so burying them seems the viable option. Not smart exactly but the right thing to do. I was going to adoration when I was working day shift and need to figure out something similar to give me that feeling of comfort and peace. The graveyard shift schedule doesn’t exactly help either, it throws everything off and makes things more difficult.
I don’t know how I feel about my birthday. I have a wish that I’m not going to blurt out. Some hints about that is more my style. It’s something very simple, something I doubt is going to happen… has nothing to do with the concert I’m attending in the evening or the friend I’m going with. Besides I guess in a strange way when it comes to a birthday wish I grew up always hearing how if it’s going to happen it’ll happen and you shouldn’t tell anyone the wish or it won’t come true. Here’s to hope right?